“A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil … she wants to see what she’s getting.” (Helen Rowland)
Once upon a time, unless a woman’s husband died, it was unusual for her to remarry. The church prohibited divorce and frowned on remarriage. Thankfully, at least here in Aotearoa, times have changed. It’s now common for contemporary couples to marry for a second time, choosing a partner with a degree of wisdom they may have lacked in their younger years. And it’s not just heterosexual couples remarrying, but people from our LGTBI population who are now free to marry or form a civil union with their preferred partner.
So what’s different about a marriage the second time around? For most people, there’s no longer the pressure of a perfect wedding, and family (including children and grandchildren) play a much bigger part in the ceremony. Friends of mine had their adult children in the bridal party as they combined their two families into one. Others have had sand blending enactments, while hand-fasting is also popular with those of Celtic origins.
And things often happen much more quickly with second-time-arounders, who just want to get on with life. A relaxed, casual ceremony with a simple barbecue or lunch on the lawn makes it all less stressful, and can be organised in just a few weeks. Even the clothing can be more informal, though some of the romantics amongst us love the idea of a lacy gown or fancy suit on that special day.
You’ll still need a registered celebrant to officiate at the ceremony, and there are plenty of us available around the country. Check out the Department of Internal Affairs website or CANZ for celebrants in your area.
“And suddenly, you meet that person that makes you forget about yesterday, and instead dream of tomorrow.” (Anon)
Second time around
Less fuss, more confidence