Meet me at the Death Café

What’s your first thought when I mention I’m going to a Death Café? Maybe you consider it macabre, not the sort of thing you do after late night shopping or on a sunny Sunday afternoon. But you might be surprised to learn that hundreds of people across Aotearoa are grabbing their phones and bags, and heading down to their local library to meet with other ordinary New Zealanders who are interested – or maybe just a little curious – to find out what happens at these regular events.

So, what is a Death Café, and why might you want to join me? Well, Death Cafes are the brain child of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who saw a need for people to be more open about death and dying (or dying and death, as one of my friends so gently says). This was back in 2004, and more than 20 years later, they’ve taken off across the world. The medicalisation and commercialisation of death mean we often don’t see what happens as people near the end of their lives, and this is a chance to discuss views with others – diverse others – whose perspectives are just as likely to be different to your own. There’s no agenda, it’s not a grief counselling session, and the facilitator simply provides guidance to make sure everyone who wants to speak gets a chance.

Here in Tamaki Makaurau, we’ve partnered with Honohono Tātau Katoa and Auckland City Libraries, who provide resources and a place to gather. I’m running a handful of Death Cafés at Botany and Onehunga Libraries, and my colleagues are offering cafes from Warkworth in the north, to Avondale out west, East Coast Bays in the east, and everything in between. If your local library isn’t currently offering one, why not have a word to the team there, and see if they’re keen to join in?

I have access to loads of resources (both physical and electronic), and a huge network of peers who sit alongside me. Check out the dates for 2026 on events page above, and get yourself along for a cuppa and biscuits, and great conversation with people who share your interest in learning more about death – before it’s too late.

P.S. If you’d like to run your own Death Café with a group of friends in your own home or mine, give me a buzz on 021 189 5597.